Gordon the Cat

My name is Gordon the Cat, and I’m no longer fat,
And that smell that you smell is my butt.
I don’t lick myself clean, and I spit and I’m mean,
I am matted and dirty; so what!

When that older cat died, I stayed mostly inside,
And my servants would jump at the call.
To keep full my food dish, give me what ever I wish,
And for that I’d hock up a fur ball.

But then came Jaxi the dog, that stupid old hog,
She’d eat from my food, Oh how gross.
Then a cat and a kitten, they both made me smitten,
I get sick ‘cause their so Grandiose.

So life is now not the same, I live out in the rain,
And I eat from the garbage, I’m cursed.
Strange Jane, and Odd Bob, are living high on the hog,
And they’re warm in my bed. That’s the worst.